So life with three kids is trucking along.  Is it easy? No. Is it manageable? Absolutely! Do I enjoy every minute of it? No, but I love all three of my boys so much.  I have a few friends that have 3-4 kids and they make it seem so easy. I don’t know how they do it.  I think that they aren’t sharing their magic calming pills with me.  But anyways. Bedtime has and always will be the worst 3 hours in our house.  There will be yelling, there will be crying {and not always from the boys} and there most definitely will be wine.


I try my hardest to get Owen down by 7:30pm so I can work on the other two boys but he doesn’t always cooperate. I mean at three months he should figure out that the boys are crazy at this time of night and mommy needs to deal with them.  Get with it Owen! Thankfully the past two nights have gone pretty smoothly {Dear Lord, I hope that I just didn’t jinx myself}.  I have been able to get him in his crib and within 10 minutes he is asleep.

Whew! One down, 2 to go.

Now most nights I do the bath and bedtime routine by myself since it usually all happens before Joey gets home from New York City.  On the rare occasion that he {and NJ Transit} run on time he may be home for some snuggles and books.

The bedtime routine would be a lot easier if I didn’t have two major issues.

1st issue:  The boys share a room

2nd issue: One of the boys {who I will not name} is afraid of the dark and terribly afraid of being alone.  


So here’s my dilemma, I cannot put them in there together at the same time without me.  There will be fights, there will be broken lamps and there will be crying and hitting.  I try to get Sean down first but Ben, ummm I mean the kid that is afraid of being alone, cannot be by himself on my bed or downstairs with the iPad or a book.  He has to be with me at all times. I would love to put Ben down first because he really needs a lot of sleep but we all know about my Sean stories. The kid cannot be left alone.  Sean always finds himself in trouble.  Food will be spilled, things will get broken and accidents will happen. Here are some older images to refresh your memory!

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So my only option is to take both of them to bed together .. and I can’t leave.  I am basically held hostage in their room until they are both sound asleep.

Usually after a 30-45 minutes I can get Sean to calm down and pass out.  He is very fidgety but once he stops bouncing around he will pass out cold.  Then I move on to Ben. He absolutely will not let me leave his room at all.  I will turn on every night light and lamp but it’s still too dark for him.  I will try and go to the bathroom or do laundry {which is in the closet outside of his bedroom} and he will come find me if I take more than 20 seconds.  He will not take his eyes off of me until he is asleep.  I don’t remember when all of this fear started.  He was on medicine for awhile that would make him fall asleep quickly and once we took him off of that it started happening slowly.   So we will read books, snuggle, look out the window and tell stories.  Yes, I do enjoy that special time with him.  I love that he can read books to me and he really is one of the best snugglers in the world but at some point I do have to leave his side.

But when that does happen I usually run into two problems when putting him to sleep — too soon or too late.  I think that he is out cold so I move my arm off of him and he will sit up and give me a look.  Damn… too soon.  So I just tell him that I just had to scratch my nose and resume the snuggle.  Or if I stay in there too long, I fall asleep myself and I hate that. I will wake up 1/2 hour later groggy and not in the mood to finish the laundry, dishes or exercise.

It really is a nightmare some nights.  I just hope that I can get a routine with everyone soon because it’s driving me nuts.  I finally had to leave Ben last night and he came back downstairs while I did my 21 Day Fix exercise program and he passed out on the couch when I was in between workouts.

I know that he can’t help being afraid of the dark.  But I can’t have him follow me around until 10:30pm every night.  He is missing out on some very important sleep {and so am I}.   Suggestions on how to help a kid who is afraid of the dark or just being alone? He is like that during the daytime as well.  He won’t run upstairs to get something unless someone goes with him. Poor kid is scared of his own shadow right now and I am not sure why.


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  1. I totally feel for yo und cannot even imagine adding. Third to my crazy night time routine, but does sound like Owen is a good baby and so happy for you that he is. My kid that is afraid of the dark or at least on the nights she says she is, is Lily. So, I am well versed in the scared of the dark routine here, too. I just try my best and some night she too falls asleep in bed next to me to be carried into her bed afterwards. So, I have no words of wisdom just hugs and again feel for you.

  2. Hey Erin, I feel your pain and Luke’s almost 9. Either myself or Matt have to stay in our room until he falls asleep in his room. That at least gives me time to read or watch tv. But I cant go downstairs and do anything, and by the time he’s asleep, I’m ready for bed. We used walkie talkies for awhile, when it got really bad, especially when he wouldnt let me leave his room. So that was the first phase in letting me leave his room so I didnt have to sit in the dark waiting. And then we got him a light up moon that goes on his wall so he can lay there and watch the phases of the moon while he falls asleep, but someone still has to be in the room next to him. Now, if we want to watch a movie or something, I have to wait for about an hour to make sure he’s asleep and so that the movie doesnt wake him up. I also wonder if the phase will ever pass. I’ve tried many things but have resigned myself to the current situation and hope that this soon shall pass. Why cant we have the kids who put themselves to bed? Apparently Matt never wanted to be alone so he would sneak downstairs after Mike was asleep. It has to be something in the genes.

    • I am going to try and use our walkie talkies tonight… if I can find the missing one!!! I thought of that the other day and when you said you tried it I thought it might just work (at least for a night or two maybe). I just need to pray that I find the missing one.

      These kids.. I feel bad for them because they obviously have some fear but it’s so hard to be the parent b/c deep down you know how much crap you have to get done when they do finally fall asleep!

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